Tuesday, 10 March 2009

Fire regs and all that

An unwelcome new addition has come to reside at Ednovean Farm in the shape of Fire regulations. In this new "walk, don't walk" society, we have been designated as low risk but we still have to have smoke alarms in every room in the building and these rather nasty fire extinguishers prominently displayed. Very sensible you might think but as only two guests sleep in this building and that's our bedroom door right beside the front door I think we could probably rescue them along with the cat - but no we must have a sign beside our bedroom over our front door reading fire escape, presumably in case a sudden burst of senility should set in over the course of the night and we would no longer be able to find an aperture that resembles a door. Now I do understand that people can become disorientated in large rambling buildings but the humble small B&B is usually rather easier to navigate particularly if they have ground floor rooms two of which have additional french doors leading into the garden.

I fear the construction does not quite complement the vintage Lionel Edwards prints or the flagstone floor where our maximum of six guest will check in, nor do I doubt the sanity of my guest at Breakfast in my Dining room in which they spend the maximum of two hours eating Breakfast to be unable to locate the stable door right beside the Dining Table that is usually open for most of the summer....Alas the government doubts the ability of the British public to find a door and this also although patently a door must bear the sign Fire exit without further ado.

But not to worry if we have a sneaky bedtime smoker (boo hiss) the whole house will be roused by the wonderful relay alarm system that would do credit to a nuclear submarine in dive mode. Happy Bunny - NO but don't forget "Walk - Don't Walk" and follow all instructions.